Tag Archives: Bugsiewrites

Competition News!

Part of being an aspiring writer is doing the scariest thing you can do – start putting your writing out there. I’ve talked about this on numerous occasions but I think it’s important to remind everyone that yes, it’s scary, but yes you will benefit.

The Ink and Insights competition was a great competition as the feedback was both bolstering, timely and incredibly useful. This is the second time I have entered this comp and it was wonderful to both score in the top ten entrants (out of 125 entries) but also be put forward as one of the judges’ faves (this is separate to the score.)

You can see the Ink and Insights placings and other great up and coming authors manuscripts here:

https://inkandinsights.com/apprentice-novels-winners-page.php

https://inkandinsights.com/judges-favorites.php

Some of the great feedback I recieved included:

  • “The characters had a lot of personality. This was especially evident in the care the author took to make their voices unique in dialogue.”
  • “The emphasis on the emotional aspects of these characters lives, the feeling of a fully fleshed out setting, and the streamlined fast-moving pace stick true to the chosen genre.”
  • “The hook has the perfect amount of drama and emotion to make the MC and her struggles feel real while providing key setting clues.”
  • “The element of mystery to these characters’ stories is what I found truly appealing. “
  • “Your characterization is excellent.”
  • “Your descriptions were absolutely magical. I loved reading them and they really immersed me into the story.”

But also on the useful side of feedback came these comments:

  • “I believe that there is room to improve the emotional depth of the story and include more complex emotions.”
  • “There is a good presentation of backstory, however, I believe the story could benefit from a bit more backstory.”
  • “While details are adequate to enable a reader to follow the story, the setting and world-building aspect is a bit sparse in details that would truly immerse the reader into the setting, time frame, and uncertainties of the time, just prior to the Pearl Harbor attack that propelled the U.S. into the Second World War.”
  • “I would have also liked to have read more details in scenery and clothing of the times, as well as hair styles so that I could truly feel as if I had stepped back in time and am living live through your three primary characters: CeCe, Ruby, and Peaches.”
  • “There are a couple areas where I spot room to add more descriptions.”

All these comments have useful and workable solutions and I know that my manuscript will be richer for having taken this feedback and worked on improving my story, characters and dialogue. There is much to do going forward!

It was also great that the Romance Writers of New Zealand Great Beginnings Contest I was the editors pick and their comments were especially warming to hear.

“This WWII era historical was really captivating. I really enjoyed the introduction to the women who are destined to become friends during the war.“

Editors comment on Girls of the USO for Great Beginnings Competition

So now what? I have a lot of work to do, but I’m hoping that this manuscript may be in workable order by the time the RWA conference comes up in August! Until then, it’s head down, backside up!

The indecent flower

red yellow flower tulips

Photo by Mikes Photos on Pexels.com

The glossy layered curves fold gentle around into a cuplike shape.  The main colour is vibrant and dramatic and transitions into a flamboyant golden colour hue at the edge in stark contrast with the main.  It dazzles the eyes if you look too long.  Inside the cup, the soft folds reveal ominous, yet velvety, filaments that poke upwards towards the rim to seek out the sunshine.    The base of the cup changes colour again, this time, to one of gentle pale green, underneath which, the supple petals merge smoothly into a rigid stalk.  Towards the base, the pale green leaves expose themselves; they are strong but soft enough to ripple like glossy waves or silken sheets, shadowing the foundation of rich dirt beneath.  Its fragrance is not sweet-smelling, but it emits a pleasant earthy aroma, one that hints of early spring and suggests more to come.

Evie stands and stares at the pot and the tulip within and gives a soft giggle. The wine glass in her hand is almost empty.

“What are you laughing at Evie?” Malcolm asks.

Evie contemplates the tulip again before she replies. “I think I have figured out why I love these flowers.”

“And why is that?” He slips his arm around her waist from behind and nuzzles her neck.

“Well…” She laughs again, “It’s not even spring, and yet here they are, on a sunny winter afternoon, displaying themselves like dancers at the Moulin Rogue. They’re so, um…. suggestive.”

His interest piques. “Suggestive, of what?”

Evie can feel Malcolm’s grip tighten on her waist, and she senses the mischievousness in his voice. She reaches around and playfully smacks the back of his head. “I’ll tell you later my love; our guests will be here any minute.”

A life in pictures and in words of love

My Dearest Pa,

There’s this picture of you from when you were a boy sitting in a small go-cart surrounded by three of your sisters. You don’t look happy. Surly is the best description I have for it, but it makes me laugh when I think what might have been going through your mind at the time. ‘I’m hungry’, ‘why is Jean allowed in the go-cart too’, ‘why am I here’, ‘why do I have to smile’ part of any four-year-old boy’s nightmare – to stand still for a photo for five minutes.

The next photo I look at, you’re fourteen, and it’s your first British Merchant Navy passport. You look so damn young — too young to be off to sea, without a parent and without the doting sisters around you. There are photos of you on the ship smiling, hoisting rigs, chummy with shipboard mates, drinking beer and sharing a laugh.

There’s a photo from your first visit to Australia, outside a Fremantle hotel, then there’s the one of you crammed into a photo booth laughing it up with a mate.

As you became older you became more handsome, you dressed smarter, looked dapper and there are pictures of you with your arm around pretty girls, the prettiest of all being mum. There are photos of you and mum at your wedding, standing stiffly on the church steps and later there’s honeymoon pics, Blackpool I think, standing on the deck of a ship your arms around each other, on the beach in fashionable swim wear. Later you’re holding Jan or Stu, or the dog who’s name I never remember. There are ones from when you came here, cooking barbeques in late setting summer suns wearing nothing but the skimpiest of seventies shorts. There are party shots too, laughing and drinking and dancing and canoodling. There is so much laughter and life in those photos.

That is what I want to remember, what I want to thank you for sharing. When I look at these photos, I see your gentle heart, the man who teared up at Lassie films, who sang me silly songs with snippets of languages you learnt on your travels. I see the man who knew many fine Scottish folk tunes, ones he sang in houses and halls drunkenly slurred when your arms were around friends or family. Or as you donned a kilt or slew us with your terrible skills on a bagpipe.

You were the one I went to when I needed to remember the lighter side of life, you made me laugh, you made me forget that life is sometimes not fair. I love you and will never forget you.

Nancy

Day 6 prompt: nightflight to Venus

Eva dug her elbow into her companion’s rib cage.

James, shaken from slumber barely stirred and Eva rubbed her elbow in annoyance.

“How can you possibly sleep?  We’re supposed to be on a romantic flight to see Venus.”

He yawned and stretched, stroked her hair and her bare shoulder before laying a kiss on her lips. “We don’t need to go to Venus to see the stars. They’re right here.” He kissed her again and gave her a sleepy smile.

Eva sighed, snuggled in under his arm and closed her eyes.

 

Day 4 prompt: A sound, a smell

The bell rings for the second time.  Fashionably late in unfashionable clothes.

He sidles close and I can smell him, earthy and fresh.  His formal attire sits well on him, far better than I thought it would.  You can see his figure, stout but not fat, poised and surprisingly handsome.  His posture is almost perfect yet I notice a slight hesitation in his gait as we walk into the ballroom together.

Day 2 prompt: fork, shoe, map, whistle

The explorer looked down at his shoe covered in a strange goo.  “I thought this place was supposed to be like Kew Gardens,” he said with distaste as he tried to shake it from his foot.  He began to rummage inside his jacket pocket, pulled out a fork, and scratched his head as he held it aloft.  The second time he produced a whistle, which he blew, much to his companions’ annoyance.

One final delve and he produced a sheet of paper.  “Here it is!  The map!”  he said with reassuring smile.

One companion shook his head, the other plastered a hand over his eyes. They both sighed in unison.

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